When You Are Ready To Face Your Demons, A Way Will Open

I left church in my usual state of ecstasy but as had become a pattern, I soon dropped into darkness. It seemed that lately every good experience was followed by severe depression. Each accomplishment seemed to be balanced by immediate failure. Usually of my own making.

Today was my third time in two months I felt suicidal and after 20 years of treatment by therapists and psychiatrists I knew I was in trouble.

Part of my depression was caused by my experience in a seminary class called “Developing Spiritual Depth” which I thought would be healing. The meditations were helping my classmates experience the divine and I was having severe pain, violent disturbing visions and finally three stigmata type wounds appeared on my arm. Going “deeper” was making me feel insane.

I was nearly institutionalized at 25 and a few times since and now at 50 I was sure it would happen. The top shrinks in the country, dozens of therapists, shaman, healers, and doctors had treated me. Unsuccessfully. I didn’t trust any of them anymore.

I had been told by my friend Michele to call a Psychic Reiki Healer named Linda but I was being foreclosed on, my car repossessed and my heat shut off, so I didn’t have money to pay her.

My friend said, “When you are ready to face your demons, a way will open.”

It turned out Linda needed a Web site and that’s what I do so we worked out a barter. (Visit her site at energeticempowerment.org )
I called her and the phone cut off during the conversation. She’s a psychic and she said a spirit had attached itself to me. I made an appointment and she insisted I also get a therapist.

I hung up and cried because for months I felt a spirit was interfering with my life, but that seemed “crazy.” I had started asking friend if they knew a church that did exorcisms and was hanging crosses over my bed.

At my first session Linda calmed me right away and explained I was not possessed and the negative spirit came from my own energy and was not a demon. During the 2-hour session I re-experienced a past life where the stigmata wounds were administered to me when I was a slave preacher and I was tied to a tree, tortured and then hung.

We burned away patterns, moved energy, prayed and cried a lot. I remembered being kicked in the womb and mourned babies I might have had.

The relief after the session was immediate.
I had been in therapy for 25 years and taken every medication on the planet and this treatment seeming like lunacy to me but my nearly daily nausea and vomiting has stopped. My chronic back and neck pain is improving as knives from past lives are removed from them. Once on 12 medications, I take none now.

My cyclical thinking, despair and dark moods are less frequent and most importantly, I have joined a very healing, loving church and not one Sunday goes by that a major issue does not come up and get healed.

I was physically, emotionally and sexually abused, so interacting with others is frightening and fraught with “issues.” My fears of criticism, abandonment and physical harm come up, but they don’t seem to affect my new relationships as much.

For the first time it seems, I am making friends and feeling a part of a community. I’m not reacting to my past so much that it destroys my present. I am also starting to have a sense of my own purpose as a healer and hope some day to help heal others as Linda has healed me.

For the first time in a long time, I feel optimistic.

Please share your healing stories in the comments.